updates.

I haven't updated for awhile. Just haven't, no real reason why. I have been busy with the college stuff, I have only 2 more semesters and Im done! I have only 2 more classes this semester as well. 

I have waited way too long to buy jorja's christmas. But I have maybe three more presents to go and I am finished. I didn't get her all that I wanted to but I have her must have present so I will take that.

Other than keeping busy with school and Jorja. I am dying from the plague. seriously.

until to later, keep it real.

the time I was thankful

This is the season of thankfulness. I am thankful for a lot of things and a lot of people. Even the ones who don't deserve it!

a blog about October

So October had 4 kittens, yeah I know I am horrible cat owner I didn't get her fix, oh well. I will do this ASAP. I cannot handle another cat pregnancy. I was up several times a night to check on her. I thought she had a couple of weeks left, but 3 weeks ago I came into the closet where she was and she just had this, "look what I have done" look on her face. Sadly one of the ginger babies died. I think she was born dead because she wasn't even cleaned or anything. We named her Heaven-Shadow. There are two boy gingers, keep in mind we couldn't tell if they were female/male we just name them. Jorja's ginger kitten is named Lucky-Star and the other one is Astrid-Aphrodite-both I believe those two are males. So Astrid's name is sticking so if we keep all three we won't change Astrid's name. My kitten is the Calico and it has orange and black so she's a girl for sure I named her Odessa-Sky. It took two weeks to figure out, that their initials are  L.O.A.=law of attraction, and I so didn't plan that, in fact it took me two weeks to even realize it!  

Just one more day...just one more day..

I like to tell myself "just one more day" whenever I am dealing with unwanted, unneeded stress, which sums up the deadbeat junkie sperm donor of Jorjas. 

"Just one more day" means to me this, a day is just 24 hours of my life, about 8 are taken up with sleeping, through in working and my college work, the other hours in my day aren't that many. So if I can handle his refusal to pay child support, or call his kid, or have drug parties at his drug house where a junkie OD's, or my personal favorite him posting inappropriate things on FB about my child, his kid he's a deadbeat. Then it's just one more day....

One more day I don't have to wonder if he's going to pay child support (he's a expert summons dodger!) and he's  a junkie so no legal job there, right?!

Just one more day until I have my degree, living the life I am due. I am not going to lie, it feels amazing! I've worked hard and it will just will not be an issue if he pays or he doesn't. And to me that will be the best feeling in the world.

And if I can make it through today, staying positive working hard to the life I deserve, then it will only be just "one more day!"

it's Easter.

Easter has always been and probably alway will be my most favorite holiday. As a kid, I couldn't wait to go to my grandmother's house. She lived only like 2 blocks away and most of the time I dreaded going there, but oh no, when it came to Easter. I could.not. wait. My cousins always came into town. We didn't have a large family, my dad had a falling out with his side of the family and my grandma had only three kids. I just loved spending the day, eating and hunting eggs with my cousins. 

To this day and even before I had Jorja, I made a big deal of Easter. Today wasn't anything different. Jorja got tons of stuff hunted Easter eggs twice!

so over all a great holiday!!!

Letting go...the pathway to surrender.

I am obsessed with "self-help" books. I have like 100 of them on my kindle, no lie. Most of them are the free one's you can get from Amazon. I have a few books of the author of "the Secret" I just love any books that I feel that can help my train of thought.

I recently bought, yes bought "Letting go..the pathway to surrender" by Dr. Hawkins. Apparently he's a major force in the "positive thinking is the way to go" movement. I was skeptical to purchase this book, like I've mention I am really cheap when it comes to buying books. I read the reveiws and it was highly praised. It was cheap, so I thought, why not? 

It's a kind of book where, when started you know you're going to probably read it again to absorb it. Maybe it's just my ADHD and lack of attention, that reading books like this effects. However when I first started I knew that this was a different type of book. It doesn't just stress that thinking positive will change your life. It explains why it is a person may think negative and how to change our deeper feelings that may cancel any positive thoughts. 

I know, it sounds weird. But I can totally relate to all of this. It also explains how, bitterness, hate, fear, anxiety, sadness, guilt, apathy and depression is all connected to one's health. This explains so much. I have in the past 3 years years or so, been dealing with a eating disorder, (not because I wanted to lose weight) had ulcers, weighed 89 pounds, major sinus infections and other health issues. All this is connected to the negative energy/feeling that I was harboring because I was more into being "positive" and not dealing with those negative things.

I now know why I could be happy, positive, looking forward to the great life one week and the next week be on the sailboat to despair. I see that thinking that way wasn't really helping me out. Those negative feelings were still there because I hadn't tried to deal with them.

Although this book is amazing read I don't think it's a heal all of negative feelings. It just tries to make one realize why we are sick, and negative and how to deal with those feelings in a way that may help our lives in the long run.

Right now I am on chapter 5 so I still have a ways to go. I will update on my success as soon as I can. I am on the last week of my 3rd semester of college!!!! I am doing ok, not the result as I would like to have. If I would have applied myself more I would've been doing better however, this winter has been filled with sickness. One week Jorja would be sick, then she would give it to me and repeat. I haven't been so ill like this before. This next semester will be more interesting, since I will be taking a Psychology class and a American Literature class as well.

Until to next time, stay positive!!!   

sometimes.

Someone you know will just do something randomly, so random that it just amazes you. Amazes you that your life will be change, if not forever, for this moment. And it's all those "moments" that makes up a person's life.

There has been many times I have been amazed, majority for the worst. So many times I just focus on the bad that when something great happens, I just don't know how to react.

So for now on, I choose just to amazed and to pay it forward.