So we made it past Xmas! It was such a hit, Jorja got all the stuff she wanted and then some! I made it out without buying one Frozen toy so I consider it a win-win. I am enjoying this week I get to spend with her while she is on her vacation. We are having lots of fun playing with her Monster High Dolls and Barbies.
I have done a lot of stuff I kept putting off this year. I am amazed that I actually followed through with it. As much as I got done, I still procrastinated way too much. I hate it, I always think I should do this or that, never do then feel guilty when it's not done. I absolutely hate that feeling. It makes me depressed and have way too much anxiety.
Everyone always has a list of things they will do on the New Year, and yeah I might have had one here or there. I never kept up with it. Don't get me wrong, I make lists all the time. Since I have ADHD I feel it benefits me more if I have a list as to not having one. I do this pretty much with everything, and sometimes I kept right on the list when I go shopping.
My New Years Resolution
Get my B12 levels higher, so Im not sick as much.
Change my ADHD meds
Spend more time with Jorja.
Spend more date time with my love.
Exercise more, read more.
Be more positive and outgoing.
What are yours? Have you ever kept them for more than a week??
Saturday, December 27, 2014
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Review of Spark Energy drink.
I have ADHD-inattentive and I have decided to stop medicating myself. I had a real hard time changing from one medication to another. This summer I found myself getting really sick, dizzy and I felt like fainting a few times. So I decided not to take it any longer. As I have always done in the past I had to research other ways to deal with my issues.
I have tried, green tea pills, many cups of coffee, a herbal calm pill, a herbal focus pill and now I am trying Spark Energy Drink from Advocare.
I got this in the mail on Saturday. I ordered the strawberry-mango flavor and the shipping was really fast. In fact the delivery was scheduled for thursday. So I received it a few days sooner.
You mix a scoop in 8oz of water. Although it doesn't mix too tell, even then it's not too bad. Actually Jorja took a sip and thought it didn't taste too bad. I had previously tried the fruit punch flavor. I do not recommend it, unless you are a fan of the fruit punch juice which I am not.
The drink was very tangy. I had no problem with the taste and found myself drinking it really fast. I felt a instant rush of energy, not too jarring and soon I found myself getting energized. But not too caffeinated out. I have to say I really like drinking this drink.
does it help my ADHD, yes, not like any medications would. But it's not like any medication so therefore it's kinda better?...maybe?????
So tomorrow will be day 3 I will update more later. Right now I will say it helps me with my focus about a 6. So far so good.
updated 12/27/2014
In my opinion Spark does nothing for me, like really nothing. I get better results from RedBull. I have 1-2 daily, and actually am so mellow I go right back to sleep. I am beginning to wonder is Placebo or not, or if the reviewers that I read actually work for the company. I will not be purchasing this again.
I have tried, green tea pills, many cups of coffee, a herbal calm pill, a herbal focus pill and now I am trying Spark Energy Drink from Advocare.
I got this in the mail on Saturday. I ordered the strawberry-mango flavor and the shipping was really fast. In fact the delivery was scheduled for thursday. So I received it a few days sooner.
You mix a scoop in 8oz of water. Although it doesn't mix too tell, even then it's not too bad. Actually Jorja took a sip and thought it didn't taste too bad. I had previously tried the fruit punch flavor. I do not recommend it, unless you are a fan of the fruit punch juice which I am not.
The drink was very tangy. I had no problem with the taste and found myself drinking it really fast. I felt a instant rush of energy, not too jarring and soon I found myself getting energized. But not too caffeinated out. I have to say I really like drinking this drink.
does it help my ADHD, yes, not like any medications would. But it's not like any medication so therefore it's kinda better?...maybe?????
So tomorrow will be day 3 I will update more later. Right now I will say it helps me with my focus about a 6. So far so good.
updated 12/27/2014
In my opinion Spark does nothing for me, like really nothing. I get better results from RedBull. I have 1-2 daily, and actually am so mellow I go right back to sleep. I am beginning to wonder is Placebo or not, or if the reviewers that I read actually work for the company. I will not be purchasing this again.
12/14/14
As of right now I have completely finished with Xmas. Yes, you heard it right. completely done! And only 8 more presents to wrap. I had most of it done with just 2 days of online shopping. I do see a future where online shopping, (at least for major shopping) will take over actually shopping...well I can always dream about a perfect world, can't I?!
With just over 2 weeks to go in this semester. I have to say my Word Processing Class, is horrible. I have nightmares about this class. Nothing I can do, will make this class less hell-ish. This will totally bring down my GPA. I just hope, to pass it and never take it again.
So since I have Amazon prime, I started watching more tv series. Last month I watched, The Shield (not that great but I watched it all), Veronica Mars (which just watching the movie completely will save you the trouble of watching the 4 seasons) and Southland, (which wasn't that interesting). Although it seems like I watch a lot of tv, however I don't have cable so most of my entertainment is online. I am still watching my other shows each week. I have to keep busy on my days off....just counting down the days until Scandal comes back on. haha. I just love, Homeland I am dying to see how it ends, the Middle-which is Jorja's favorite and Survivor. I cannot wait to see who wins this season.
Today is my birthday, don't ask me how old I am. I stopped counting many years ago and right now I feel old. Maybe next week I won't feel as old. I didn't really do too much but set back and watch Jorja play and just be really happy to have such a great child who loves me unconditionally.
I have to finish up this boring update. You should have known that at least one of my updates would be so not interesting.
until next time.
With just over 2 weeks to go in this semester. I have to say my Word Processing Class, is horrible. I have nightmares about this class. Nothing I can do, will make this class less hell-ish. This will totally bring down my GPA. I just hope, to pass it and never take it again.
So since I have Amazon prime, I started watching more tv series. Last month I watched, The Shield (not that great but I watched it all), Veronica Mars (which just watching the movie completely will save you the trouble of watching the 4 seasons) and Southland, (which wasn't that interesting). Although it seems like I watch a lot of tv, however I don't have cable so most of my entertainment is online. I am still watching my other shows each week. I have to keep busy on my days off....just counting down the days until Scandal comes back on. haha. I just love, Homeland I am dying to see how it ends, the Middle-which is Jorja's favorite and Survivor. I cannot wait to see who wins this season.
Today is my birthday, don't ask me how old I am. I stopped counting many years ago and right now I feel old. Maybe next week I won't feel as old. I didn't really do too much but set back and watch Jorja play and just be really happy to have such a great child who loves me unconditionally.
I have to finish up this boring update. You should have known that at least one of my updates would be so not interesting.
until next time.
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
the new and improved MISSWORLD 2.0 the blog.
" When you take revenge on somebody, you are actually paying them the highest compliment possible. It's like saying, "You've affected my life to such an extent that I must reciprocate. I must affect your life as deeply as you have mine". Revenge may be the ultimate Hallmark card. Yeah. When you think of it like that, the cliché is true. Revenge is sweet." Augustus Hill-OZ
I haven't updated this blog, because I had planned on moving to another blogging site. However that site sucked so I decided to bring it back here. Besides these blogs that I have written here are really me. The pain and disappointment I felt at that time. I avoided it because it was such a open wound to me, to my soul that it was better to not be reminded of it daily.
Recently I had re-watched the HBO show OZ. I was bored and taking advantage of my free membership to AmzonPrime Instant Video. So the complete week that I was sick no thanks to the public school systems, I chose to watch this. Gotta tell you, even though most of the characters on the show was sociopaths some of their stories was touching and I did find myself rooting for the bad guys. The character Augustus Hill did the voice overs from season 1 to the last season 7. The theme of one show was revenge and Hill's quote about revenge being the highest compliment was true to me.
I mean look at it this way. I for a while had looked to bring revenge on the *douchebag* who I felt fucked my life over. I just had to tell all those people, those tools, who proclaim he's so great, what a drug dealing deadbeat, cheating, lying deadbeat he really is. I need vindication I needed them to see what the truth was about him.
Why??
I honestly don't know why I had the need of shaming him. If his friends wanted to be blinded and "drink the Jacob juice" who cares, they don't mean anything to me. I guess I could say shaming him, embarrassed him a little.
Throughout the summer I started college, which I love and I have a 3.67 GPA. I found a new way to deal with my ADHD and anxiety. I found the time to work on myself.
I stopped seeking revenge. I stopped letting the asshole, who hasn't ever been good for me or to me,have the control. He was making me miserable, which in turn made me happy...I think.
Now I leave you with this, I agree revenge is the ultimate compliment to someone but what is forgiveness to the same person who fucked you over? Forgiving someone perhaps could be you saying to them "hey asshole, yeah I know what you've done, but you will never know how upsetting it really is and how it affect me, so fucking fuck off, I forgive you" I
I haven't updated this blog, because I had planned on moving to another blogging site. However that site sucked so I decided to bring it back here. Besides these blogs that I have written here are really me. The pain and disappointment I felt at that time. I avoided it because it was such a open wound to me, to my soul that it was better to not be reminded of it daily.
Recently I had re-watched the HBO show OZ. I was bored and taking advantage of my free membership to AmzonPrime Instant Video. So the complete week that I was sick no thanks to the public school systems, I chose to watch this. Gotta tell you, even though most of the characters on the show was sociopaths some of their stories was touching and I did find myself rooting for the bad guys. The character Augustus Hill did the voice overs from season 1 to the last season 7. The theme of one show was revenge and Hill's quote about revenge being the highest compliment was true to me.
I mean look at it this way. I for a while had looked to bring revenge on the *douchebag* who I felt fucked my life over. I just had to tell all those people, those tools, who proclaim he's so great, what a drug dealing deadbeat, cheating, lying deadbeat he really is. I need vindication I needed them to see what the truth was about him.
Why??
I honestly don't know why I had the need of shaming him. If his friends wanted to be blinded and "drink the Jacob juice" who cares, they don't mean anything to me. I guess I could say shaming him, embarrassed him a little.
Throughout the summer I started college, which I love and I have a 3.67 GPA. I found a new way to deal with my ADHD and anxiety. I found the time to work on myself.
I stopped seeking revenge. I stopped letting the asshole, who hasn't ever been good for me or to me,have the control. He was making me miserable, which in turn made me happy...I think.
Now I leave you with this, I agree revenge is the ultimate compliment to someone but what is forgiveness to the same person who fucked you over? Forgiving someone perhaps could be you saying to them "hey asshole, yeah I know what you've done, but you will never know how upsetting it really is and how it affect me, so fucking fuck off, I forgive you" I
Sunday, March 23, 2014
To feel the sun again. To have hope, to have my little plans I would write down on a to-do list. To be able to look at Jorja and not feel tremendous amount of guilt that I have. To make plans with friends and be excited. To not have to run my finances over and over again to be sure I have enough to buy something special. To be able to remember the good instead of this stabbing, burning pain. To be able to just let go of the hurt.and you hurt me beyond the point, that you hate the right to. To go a day without thinking how great jorjas life would be if I just walked away from her. To stop letting you destroy all the the happiness our daughter gives me. To be able to relax and not feel like every knock on the door will be someone to take Jorja away. To be able to put what's left of myself together and heal. To understand Yuri that you did all you denied because of yourself not me. To stop regretting telling you about Jorja in the first. To not always feel im failing Jorja simply because you claim I am. To allow to be love, love myself and find that place in the sun.
I will feel the sun again.
I will love myself and respect myself because I deserve it.
I will let go of your disappoints and know it's you who choose to that.
I will become myself but better.
Because I believe that when someone has hurt you as much as he continues to mess with me. There is always a time for revenge. But as in everything in life even revenge runs its course
Tomorrow I'll be better.
Tomorrow I will feel the sun with so much appreciation. Living in my little world of darkness h
I will feel the sun again.
I will love myself and respect myself because I deserve it.
I will let go of your disappoints and know it's you who choose to that.
I will become myself but better.
Because I believe that when someone has hurt you as much as he continues to mess with me. There is always a time for revenge. But as in everything in life even revenge runs its course
Tomorrow I'll be better.
Tomorrow I will feel the sun with so much appreciation. Living in my little world of darkness h
Friday, January 3, 2014
way past the walking dead-lays the broken one
I haven't really updated in a while.
Summer ended, Jorja started Kindergarten. She's from what her teacher says is very smart and a good student. She is almost 6 (less than a month) she can write her first and last name, she has even started to read. She brings home a book each week that she has to read to me. Its amazing, how amazing she is.
I am sitting still, letting each day, each hour pass me by. I have never been in this place before. It is all to weird, just weird. I am not depressed in any way. Although I really should be, due to my fiances and living arrangement issues. But I am not. I am not dying of panic attacks. I am just weirdly calm. Most of the time I think to myself how everything will be ok. And I do believe it will. I am just scared because of the issues I have going on and the lack of dealing with it on my part.
I used to have goals, even if I never really did anything to achieve them. But to me at least I had them. Now pretty much since summer I dont have any goals or desires. And that scares
me so. I look around at the people I know, with their families, working just to get by. To pay their mortages, car payments and to feed their children. And I wonder if they are just happy with just that. Not that there is anything wrong with that. A family life was not what was in my dreams. Not saying Jorja wasnt wanted. What I am saying, maybe its their normal life of a family, freaks me out. I dont want my life like that. I still on hang to the dream of raising Jorja in NYC, and one day soon I know it will happe But in the mean time. I need to visusliaze and figure out what I need out of life. I am sic k of life passing me by.
This was a great blog of a new year! Please forgive me for all the typos and mistskes. I am writing this on my phone.
(The title is a song from a friends band. Esiah was a band from Taft, Ca. They were good friends with Dan Herdia,read his blog I wrote. And the next tattoo will be with those lycis.)
Summer ended, Jorja started Kindergarten. She's from what her teacher says is very smart and a good student. She is almost 6 (less than a month) she can write her first and last name, she has even started to read. She brings home a book each week that she has to read to me. Its amazing, how amazing she is.
I am sitting still, letting each day, each hour pass me by. I have never been in this place before. It is all to weird, just weird. I am not depressed in any way. Although I really should be, due to my fiances and living arrangement issues. But I am not. I am not dying of panic attacks. I am just weirdly calm. Most of the time I think to myself how everything will be ok. And I do believe it will. I am just scared because of the issues I have going on and the lack of dealing with it on my part.
I used to have goals, even if I never really did anything to achieve them. But to me at least I had them. Now pretty much since summer I dont have any goals or desires. And that scares
me so. I look around at the people I know, with their families, working just to get by. To pay their mortages, car payments and to feed their children. And I wonder if they are just happy with just that. Not that there is anything wrong with that. A family life was not what was in my dreams. Not saying Jorja wasnt wanted. What I am saying, maybe its their normal life of a family, freaks me out. I dont want my life like that. I still on hang to the dream of raising Jorja in NYC, and one day soon I know it will happe But in the mean time. I need to visusliaze and figure out what I need out of life. I am sic k of life passing me by.
This was a great blog of a new year! Please forgive me for all the typos and mistskes. I am writing this on my phone.
(The title is a song from a friends band. Esiah was a band from Taft, Ca. They were good friends with Dan Herdia,read his blog I wrote. And the next tattoo will be with those lycis.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
